Lyric Correction: Dear Future Husband

So one of the artists that I’m developing a love/hate relationship with is Meghan Trainor. I appreciate her empowering lyrics and dance vibe in music, however one song I came across recently really puts me out. That song is “Dear Future Husband”. The song, as it suggests, is a love letter (of sorts) to the man who will one day be her husband. The song goes on to suggest the things she expects and hopes for. What is in great detail is how he will look after her and help her be a better person. What is also clear is that there is no room for compromise; he is treated like a lesser and the only thing he could possibly be interested in is getting his end away. Even to the point that if he disagrees with her, there is no booty for him. So, I’ve re-written the song to be a bit more compromising and, for me, a bit more to my personal taste. Please enjoy.

Original Lyrics

Omitted Lyrics

Changed Lyrics

Dear Future Husband

 

Dear future husband
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life

Take me on a date
Let’s go on a date
I deserve a break
We deserve a break
And don't forget the flowers every anniversary
And we’ll be buying flowers every anniversary
'Cause if you'll treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
I’ll be your loving wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need

You got that 9 to 5
But, baby, so do I
And, baby, so do I
So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies
I never learned to cook
We will both have to cook
But I can write a hook
We’ll learn it from a book
Sing along with me
Sing-sing along with me (Hey)

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
You gotta know that I’ll treat you right baby
Even when I'm acting crazy
Even when I drive ya crazy
Tell me everything's alright
You’ll know everything’s alright

Dear future husband
Here's a few things you'll need to know if you want to be
My one and only all my life
Dear future husband
If you wanna get that special lovin'
If we’re gonna have that special lovin’
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night
We’ll make it beautiful each and every night.

After every fight
Just apologize
We’ll apologize
And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right
And maybe then we will try to find a compromise
Even if I was wrong
You know I'm never wrong
You know ya could be wrong
Why disagree?
We will agree
Why, why disagree?
To just disagree

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
I wanna know that you’ll treat me right baby
Even when I'm acting crazy
Even when you drive me crazy
Tell me everything's alright
I’ll know everything’s alright

Dear future husband
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you want to be
My one and only all my life (Hey, baby)
Dear future husband
Make time for me
Don't leave me lonely
Even just phone me
And know we'll never see your family more than mine
And first we’ll go and see your family and then mine.

I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (Hey)
Open doors for me and you might get some kisses
Don't have a dirty mind
We’ll have a dirty time
Just be a classy guy
And still we’ll make it fine
Buy me a ring
Forget the ring
Buy-buy me a ring, babe
We’ll be handfasting, babe

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
You gotta know that we’ll get it right baby
Even when I'm acting crazy
Even when we’re old and crazy
Tell me everything's alright
We’ll know that we got it right.

Dear future husband
Here's a few things
You'll need to know if you want to be
My one and only all my life
Dear future husband
If you wanna get that special loving
If we’re gonna have that special lovin’
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night
We’ll make it beautiful, each and every night
Future husband, better love me right
Future husband, we’ll get it right. 

Plebiscite Experience

Hi all,
         So here we are in 2017, and we in Australia are falling behind the rest of the world in the Marriage Equality deal. Well, the western world where it is a more accepted practice anyway. I've been watching quietly for a while now as people have been having their say and battling it out in one way or another. Even though this is something that I want for others and myself, we are going through this nastier approach to the situation. Thank you Murmbull (Malcolm Turnbull) for your forethought on this. 
Now, I've had a very unique experience in this, and I've had a hard time trying to find people who can relate, much less sympathize, And it has been a lot more difficult because of how other people are reacting in some places. This is when I see people saying things like "If you Vote No, you can delete me from your Facebook" and that stupid approach in many ways. I find it foolish. Why does one opinion matter so much? if your best friend from years back voted against you, would you unfriend them? What if you couldn't remove people that easily? This whole "Us and them" idealism is stupid, and while we watch Donald Trump design walls between America and Mexico and laugh about it, a less practical yet still dividing set of events is taking place here. There is no difference, except the literal wall is now metaphorical. 
And the divide won't help anyone. We still need to live with each other, regardless of the outcome. So, No team: be prepared for same love to happen. Yes team: be prepared to have political and emotional backlash for a victory or defeat. In the meantime, choose your battles. I was disappointed when I saw a photo of posters from Yes voters that said "Fuck off and give us our rights!". Mhmm, because that's constructive. Respecting your opponent is a good way to get what you want without war. I know they might resort to a few dirty tricks, but that doesn't mean sinking to their level. And honestly, if I swore at you in such a manner to get something from you, do you honestly think you'd give it to me willingly and with a smile? I don't think so.
So my experience, a very deep and painful one that shook me very deeply. As you know, I work in Aged Care providing activities and emotional support to my residents. When you have been doing this very consistently for nearly 5 years, you become important to them, and they notice your absence. So when the voting slips came and I'm appointed the one to give them out, I gotta tell you it was difficult. I had to explain to the residents what it was about, what to do ad that if they needed help, I can answer questions, and all without providing a "Tick the yes box" suggestion. 
So, that can't be too bad. A far as they are concerned, I'm just being helpful, and this has no impact on me (because not all of them know I'm gay). The ones who do know voted Yes (by majority to my knowledge). That was great, and it was about the only thing that held me up for the day. Other residents, not so great. I had a few of them fill in their forms there and then in front of me, ticked No, discussing with each other that gays are less that worthy, then handing back the form to me to send. 
"That's okay Perry, just throw out the form, it won't make a difference." I got that a few times, and it is a good sign that people don't know me well. I cannot, in good conscience, stop people having their say. It is their entitlement and their right. What sort of person would I be to deny other people their rights in order to get mine? 
So the difficult part has been: how do you be nice to people who voted against you having the same rights as them? I can't remove them off my Facebook, I can't avoid them, I can't mistreat them. I have to continue living with them beyond this moment. I have to continue on as if nothing has happened, as if my heart wasn't ripped out of me by people I have a good relationship with, and keep on keeping on. The only way to get away from them is either a transfer or to quit my job. Not an option I will entertain at this point because I have little in the way of a fallback plan.
So this has been, and will be my experience; people in my life being able to say No to my face and me not being able to do anything about it. Now I say this in the knowledge that other people will go through hardships through this, and Deity knows I've heard some stories. I know people will suffer more than I have on this, and that is all very true. However the relief that I don't get is to be able to say something to the people challenging me. They get to battle, to discuss, to debate, to argue (if it gets to that) about it. I've had to stand there and take all the blows without looking like I care. I've cried, dammit! I've been very tempted to be a jerk to these people. But that would be below me. That would be putting a "Fuck off and give me my rights" poster up outside their room to see every day.
It won't solve anything and probably escalate the situation. 
So as this bullshit winds on, and it has a long way to go, please make yourself better for it. Put yourself above your taunters and bullies. Prove you can forgive (without forgetting) and please find a way to fight back without violence or unnecessary tactics. Kindness will always defeat them, and will undo anything they can do. Or, if that doesn't work, confuse them with subtle humor and sarcasm.
So, now you know. My own position on this whole debacle is full of difficulties that few are going to experience and even fewer are going to understand. Please, be nice to each other. Don't let a friend voting against you be the end of something. Let it simply be a situation to disagree and move on from. The world will be much more beautiful when we find forgiveness, understanding and compromise. These are the things of Love. If you want to back up your claims of love, follow the path it is a part of.  

   

And we're back

Hi everyone,
                  So I've been away for a while, and now I'm back. I've decided that I need to start blogging again so that I can express a few things, ad potentially get a number of opinions out of my system. I find hand-writing them doesn't quite work as well as it should, so back to the keyboard. 
So while I will hold off my expressions from this entry, I will list a few things I've done since I left here in 2013.

• 2014-2015; I was part of the MGLC (Melbourne gay and Lesbian Chorus). This was a pursuit of both socializing and music. And while I enjoyed the stage performances and organizing some of the events that were there, I also found I didn't work well with the dynamics. So after a number of events close together, I left the choir at the beginning of the 2016 season. I attempted to return this year, however I worked out that I was not welcome by many (and some really wanted me as well, so it wasn't a disaster as a whole) and that doing choral music doesn't suit me any more. 
• Around April 2015 I started taking singing lessons with the wonderful Parke O'Dwyer. I've learned a lot vocally, and we are now working on some songs in my vision of music. I am really excited for its completion in (hopefully) early December.
• In June 2015 I started studying Kung Fu. At present I have risen to level 6 and going for my level seven. My teacher Chris is very good and I learn a lot from him.    
• In January 2016, I turned 30. I spent months planning my birthday, and the night was the most beautiful I've had in a long time before e or since. I was simply happy all night.
• In 2016, I finally earned my Cert III in Psychosomatic Therapy. It has been a long time coming, however I am very pleased to have this skill at this level, and look forward to developing it further. 
• In October 2016, I joined a gaming group in Melbourne for Gay Gamers (Gaymers). I still remember my first night there; people were friendly and inclusive, no one was rude about my low vision and were patient with me learning games. I've been going for about a year now, and I look forward to it each week and feel rather empty if I don't go. 
• This year, I got it with a lot of inspirations, and have created a board/card game of my own. I'm going to try and sell the game, so here's hoping. 

Still single, and while there was someone of interest  around winter 2013 on and off for about a year, it didn't work out. However, I am still my beautiful self and getting better.
So with this brief catch-up, I'm going to sig off this quick entry, and look forward to seeing your resonances on future entries. With much love,
Perry B 

Photo: The Phryne Festival Murder Mystery Dinner, May 2015