Emotion

Emotions are amusing things. There is no real way to describe them, even though each of us experiences them.
Love: A strong liking or feeling towards certain individuals, a sexual desire beyond lust.
Sadness: Expressing of or characterised sorrow or mourning.
Pride: A high or expression of dignity within one's self or others displayed in either the mind or the physical presence of an item.
Anger: A strong feeling of displeasure or agitation towards a wrong-doing or event.
Fear: Distress caused by surrounding danger or vunrability when concerned for one's safety.
And while we go through these, and many more, there are some emotions that you can't put a name to. This relates to a feeling that is triggered not in reaction to an action, but via a memory of images and feelings that are expressed by children who are really young. The emotion comes from an accident, where you spill your drink or drop your ice-cream cone. The emotion is hard to describe from an adult mind. It isn't loss, because it isn't the same form of emotion. It isn't really sadness, despite the need to cry. It is just difficult to explain. And this emotion has been coming more and more.
At one point in my life, I owned a card game called 'Teddy-bears Picnic,' in which there are pictures of teddy bears. One I recall specifically is of a smaller teddy crying because he had spilt his drink. And for some reason the picture wants me to move through the frame and comfort the teddy.
This feeling also has come through as a form of empathy for others. Whether fictional or not, it has developed into something that is both enjoyable but a bit of a curse at the same time, because it drives my sexuality in ways I'd rather it didn't. What it has given me is a divine caring for people, and so when someone becomes a friend and we share deep and meaningful things, I get an overwhelming urge of compassion. It is great because I can feel the closeness between my friends and me, and I like to hope they feel it too. But when it comes to males, considering my sexuality, the feeling over-develops into sexual feelings. This can be seriously frustrating, because i am trying to develop friendships, not sexual liaisons. And while the idea of sex with some of my friends is entertaining, I don't want that. On the other hand, sex with some of my other friends is seriously not on my mind, but still the urge is there.
I did do some research into myself to see what might be the cause of this, and I found something. Some of this (not the earlier described emotion... I think) comes from my astrology. My Taurus Moon Sign has a great affect on me. In brief, our sun signs (when we were born) affect our lives and external appearance. Moon Signs (where the moon's position when you are born) affects our internal and personal lives. And it seems, aside from giving me stubborness, creativenesss and a great will for living, it also gives me a lot of emotional links that may/not be so useful. Compassionate lover but not easily brought into a relationship. Isn't that a good start? At least it will make me a good parent.
I found a ritual in a book to subdue the emotions, but I need to go ALL the way to the city to get the stuff I need. I will get the stuff I need and cast the spell and see if it makes a difference. Wish me luck,
Perry