Movie Review

Title: 28 Weeks Later
Staring: Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Harold Perrineau
Rating: 3 Code Reds
Review: They never learn. They really never learn. I have been a fan of biotech survival horror long enough to know how to survive. I have played Resident Evil. I have played House of the Dead. I have played Silent Hill. I have seen Silent Hill. I have seen Resident Evil. I have seen House of the Dead. Some people never learn. They all have one thing in common... the major military forces that get wiped out are American, and they seem to go down rather quickly or make blowhard decissions. Like in this movie and the slaughter of innocent people. Or to take an infected (or potentially infected) person into the centre of the quarantine zone. DUH! While it is true that infected targets are harder to pinpoint, it should be noted that dead targets get infected and become rather animated again.
The one thing I noted about this movie that I won’t take points off for is a detail in the ‘Carrier.’ The person who was the centre point of this outbreak. She was a survivor and while attacked, didn’t mutate. So she spent what is an estimated 20 weeks running around and trying to survive. But while running around and encountering and avoiding the undead all of Britan, she kept perfect oral hygeine. Her teeth are still perfectly white. No stains, no discoloration, no nothing. Oops!
Anyway, this is more of a mixed free-for-all of a movie. Three teams: Our heroes and the expendables, the American Troops, the Infected. We know that, one way or the other, the infected are gonna be wiped out, so who will win between the heroes and the American Forces? Hint: One American Force is a hero.
I took a point off for the serious stupidity of the Father at the start of this movie, and because he was stupid enough to go walking into a Quarentine area. Didn’t think to ask permission, didn’t think to find out if she was infected, just walked right in. Thanks to him, this all came to pass.
.5 off because our heroes have the human capability tyo outrun a mass fire bomb. Whatever! None of the innocent people/disposables could do it, why could they?
.5 off for the simple stupidity of death in this film. Everyone drops dead at the drop of a hat. If you want an extreme way to die, just enter the realm that is this film. I’m just bored with it more or less. I give it the remaining points because of how well it is thrown together, the truths about lack of communication, nobility in sacrifice and the foolishness of selfishness (and the American Armed Forces), so lets enjoy random property damage, the half-arsed RE involved and how the involvement of the American Armed Forces can bring on an ‘everyone for themselves’ situation very quickly. If you ask me, the prequal was better, and sequals shouldn’t exist.

Title: Superman: Doomsday
Staring: James marsters (narration/Lex Luthor), Adam Baldwin (Superman/Clark Kent), Anne heche(Lois Lane)
Rating: 3.5 Superman Clones
Review: I’ve never been much of a superman fan. There is just something too... monotonous about a man who can barely die. The stories surrounding Superman can be good, but are mostly science fiction, which can get very tangled unless you follow it right from the start.
I was a tad disappointed to discover this was an animated movie, because the front cover of the DVD suggests it might be appart of the Christopher Reid series, which it isn’t. But the by-line was good enough. It is the death of Superman. And how does one kill Superman? You pit him against a creature that is equally tough and strong and resiliant and hell-bent on wiping out all life. Superman kills the being and gives his own life. Naturally, when he is offically declared dead, the whole opf Matropolis goes on a crime frenzy. But Superman comes back to life. No, not really, it is a clone created by Lex Luthor, who is oddly unhappy with Superman’s death. Some people are never satisfied! -.5
The other thing that really got to me, and it does on such a frequent basis in animated films, is how many innocent bystanders REALLY get killed. You see Superman throwing people, things and himself through buildings with lights on, leading you to assume there are people in there. These buildings usually fall down in a smoking pile of rubble or have gaping holes a few storeys wide. It’s just an observation.
I took the other point off because there was a mass information dump at one point. Lex has Superman’s body taken from the grave and he spends time talking to it. He drops all the information on the audiance (and Superman) and it can e hard to follow. I had to replay the scene to make sure I knew what had happened.
For any Superman fans, no, he lives. But if you want to know how, go rent the movie. I am not going to get myself a copy, but I did enjoy watching it. I might watch it again before I return it.
The one thing I was happy (bot not to surprised about) was Superman ‘dying’ in Lois’ arms. At least it didn’t drag out into a whole Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader scene from the Return of the Jedi. I would have fast-forwarded if it did. It was less than two minutes long from the point you realise Superman ain’t gonna make it. Nice work.

Title: The Secret Garden
Staring: Kate Maberly, Heydon Prowse, Andrew Knott, Maggie Smith, John Lynch
Rating: 3 Garden Keys
Review: I read the book in Primary School, but I don’t remember how it ended, but I remember bits of it. I remember seeing the start of the film, but either I didn’t see it through to the end or I simply don’t remember. The Secret Garden does have a secret, it is called the Climax and Conclussion. Now, with an adult mind and a bit more of an attention span, I can find out once and for all how it concludes. And who better than to have Maggie Smith, one of the best UK actresses to be apart of it. And the knowledge it will be a lot better than “A Little Princess,” which I hated from start to finish. Mind you, I want to see Maggie Smith do something other than act as a strict diciplinarian.
The story started as I recalled, and I picked up on a umber of other hidden elements that I didn’t last time. I thought it was a bit of a sad start, considering that Mary is a bit of a brat. But considering her upbringing, I don’t really blame her. She never had an emotional support, so she lacked any great emotion short of being bossy to her servant. But it annoied me that she became such an icon of wisdom for Colin, so -.5 for that. But as she develops as a character, it was somewhat touching that she learns the things she seems to have otherwise been delayed on.
While watching a lot of the garden scenes, you expect a bit of a seiunce (?spelling) to happen, and it does in dreams, but not the same. It would be interesting to see spirits waltzing around in the dead garden, but that’s just me. What I thought was highly amusing is that two kids can grow a garden IN NEAT ROWS! While I won’t deduct points for that, because it is a slight error, I will deduct a point because some of those animals, declaired orphans, should be dead from starvation. At least that is the way it was displayed.
So what happens when brat meets brat? One has to mature faster than the other, and help the other. But the journey of discovery is a good one and is actually realistic, rather than over-bearing on the mysteries of life. Even the lead villain (even though she isn’t) reacts as people of the time did. It was all they knew. Mind you, it was amusing watching her stumble around in her ignorance at the end, and be happy that Colin had developed.
There is still a -.5 for me to call. That is because trees don’t grow that quickly. In other words, I don’t care if the secret of the garden is advanced phytogenis mitosis, trees don’t grow that quickly.
No, not a film for my shelf, but at least one that I can say I have watched and enjoied. Remind me to buy it for Xmas for any bratty kids. I don’t know any at the moment, but luck and chance are the enemies of such things.

Title: House
Staring: Michael Madsen, Reynaldo Rosales, Heidi Dippold
Rating: 4 Wooden Masks
Review: I know I have been going in for the Horror thing recently, but I decided just to choose a random letter and find a movie from within that section of the DVD shelf. I need one of those letter dice, It would make selecting DVD’s a lot easier.
Anyway, survival horror section: Religion, Psycho, Supernatural. Four people find themselves stranded at a very fancy hotel in the middle of nowhere, Alabama. As the night progresses, it is obvious that darkness rules the house and that the people running the place know more than they are letting on. But when it is clear that the Tin Man is coming to play, it is a free-for-all in order to survive. And the rules are simple. If you are a sinner, you are going to be targeted and killed. If you can present another dead sinner before daylight, all others will be freed. Another religious push in the direction of the Bible, so on and so forth. I do understand that it makes it easier to build a plot quickly because people catch on faster, but it would be nice, just for once, to see a movie with a supernatural theme without the Christian background. -.5
As our heroes and victims run aorund the house and the passages beneath, you discover that each of them is indeed guilty of something. Each has a sin to answer for and each must face the fear that comes with that sin in order to survive. Odds are, anyone in this house has something big to deal with. But at the same time, Tin Man turns fear into a means of bending you to his will to get his own way, as we find out in the end. But without revealing too much, the end got a bit predictable on how to defeat the bad guys. After all, the onlyescape from Sin is Forgiveness, and our heroes need to find forgiveness in order to escape. By the way, as a spoiler that you would see coming anyway, her name is Susan. -.5 for being to obvious.
I think I would buy this film for myself, as it is a good movie and keeps you on the edge of your seat because there comes certain times where you just don’t know who is on whos side anymore, or if they have a side all to themselves. Certainly good for a night in... if you’re game.
Top Ten Listing Number: 7

Title: The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi
Staring: Tadanobu Asano, Michiyo Okusu, Yui Natsukawa
Rating: 3.5 Sword Canes
Review: Unable to find the movie form the Action shelf I wanted, I decided to go looking in the alphabetically distant part of the action shelf. I recalled the name Zatoichi being dropped a while ago as a refference to a character from a game. Now I have some refference for the characters Sho and Nasu (Tenchu 4).
Anyway, when I started watching the movie, I discovered quickly that it is an old school Japanese film that had English dubbing. It is easy to tell form the mouth movements (or lack thereof) and the style of recording. But I won’t knock points off, because between that and pausing the movie all the tiome to read the subtitles, I’d rather have dubbing.
Zatoichi, the blind swordsman who is disguised as a massuse, travels the Japanese countryside helping people who are in need. Usually taking out Yakuza and the like because he feels it is his duty. But this film gave us some extra characters at the beginning and you really have no idea who is on who’s side to start. Are the Geisha assassins good or bad? Is the samurai saving up money for his sick wife good, evil or simply a sheep?
As the story progresses slowly, you shouldn’t expect too much action all the time. But you will find that there are a lot of amusing points throughout tyhe film, such as the madman who wants to be a samurai and the gambling man who can’t call a dice roll if his life depended on it. But the plot is somewhat slow, in that you need to pay close attention to the details and try to hold onto names. If you don’t have some education in speaking Japanese, it might become hard, even if you took notes. A lot of characters are introduced very quickly and if you can’t keep up, you need to wait until the enjd to find out who is who and where they fit in the overall plot. -.5.
The other thing about this movie I find so odd is the simplicity of dropping a man with a sword. The cuts that are made to them don’t appear to be that dep, yet it is still enough to kill them. I understand that this age had two types of warriors: bravado and samurai, but either way, it should take a little more than some minor cuts to kill someone. Yes, some of them do take some pretty good whacks and dices to their torso’s, which would definately kill, but most of them don’t.
What I found interesting about this film, if not different, is the psychology that is in play. I can’t say too much because I’d spoil too much plot, but if you really want to get into someone’s head, know how to play both ends of your spectrum. Zatoichi does it, as does our would-be noble samurai.
There is still 1 to remove, and that is basically the minor cultural errors that keep rocking up. You’d think japan would know better of its own history. There was a world of difference between a geisha and a prostitute, a world of difference between samurai and yakuza and it was next to unheard of for a geisha to dance without a prop at some point. But with a rating of 3.5, I might get this film for my shelf.
I have this real want to watch Lone Wolf and Cub now. go Babycart!

Overall Top 10
1) Silent Hill (4.5) (Purchase)
2) The Color Purple (4.5) (Purchase)
3) The Frightners (4) (Purchase)
4) Shortbus (4) (Purchase)
5) The Addams Family (4) (Own)
6) Mrs.Doubtfire (4) (Purchase)
7) House (4) (Maybe Purchase)
8) Sleepwalkers (4) (Maybe Purchase)
9) Indiana Jones and the Last Criusade (4) (Maybe Purchase)
10) Indiana Jones and Raiders of the Lost Ark (4) (Not Purchase)