Putting effort into change

And if I keep telling myself that, I'll be fine. I've had a bit on my mind the past few weeks, and I can't really express it here. It is kind of pissing me off because for once I just want something normal. I know I'm not normal, it doesn't mean I wouldn't shun some normality from time to time.
Well, first off, i have had a lot of anxiety recently, because my doctor reduced one of my meds and while I am not going insane (yet) the need to smoke more and eat chocolate to keep it under control is getting worse over time. I don't like this a lot, but other than that I am coping well. Or well enough.
The next main thing has been getting rady for Christmas. Now, I don't really go for Christmas, I prefer Litha and the celebrations that go with it. I get so bored of Christmas Carrols so quickly, because they are all slow, religious and boring. I would rather hear more up-beat carrols and feel like Christmas was worth a little something. The shopping is done at least and all has been sent or given say for a few things on the couch. Even at my volunteer work, I got shanghaied into doing the Choir for the dementia Christmas party. While I didn't mind eventually, I would have been happier with more upbeat songs, not 'Silent Night' and 'Away in a Manger'. What boring songs, and I don't even believe in them. But the entertainment was well felt and the guitarist was kinda hot. I just wonder if I'll ever see any of the photos. Probably not.
Next thing on my list has been my other blog. I know I started writing them here, but I felt it would be better to post them all in the one place so that way I could explore, refference and link back faster rather than having to search for them all the time. But now that I've started, I have theories pouring out of my head and other people putting them into my lap. I have 3 posted, one to majorly redo and one sitting, waiting on me to type because it is ready to go. But I might hold off on it until I have it drawn out completely. But it is certainly one worth telling. I have been told this will turn into a book, and I hope so. Once I have it put together and have many theorys drawn out, I could probably group them up and make different books out of them. A short series of thought and spirituality. I dunno, it is too soon to call. I just know I have a lot to present into this world, and I hope that I eventually make a difference. And perhaps an interview with Oprah!
Following all that, the complicated men, busy holiday schedule and all that stuff, I have managed to do a few things for myself. I have a large pile of books on order and I can't wait for them to arrive so I can read them. The series has been facinating, and I'd like to pass on a thank you to my Sister, my Xmas gift is paying for some of them. I also got myself two seasons of Blue Heelers for the price of one, so am definately happy with that, and I am simply criusing along at the moment. Tomorrow is a much welcomed day of doing everything I need to around the house with no one to interupt and nothing to worry about outside the house aside form a little shopping to keep myself in food. Then we clean, and wash and dry and iron and sort and tidy and watch a movie or two. The movie reviews won't be stoping, I just need to watch the pile of them and then post them.
Well, I might leave it at that because it is getting on a littlle, but here is the song of the week from Euroquest 2010. Have fun,
Pez!