Movie Review

Title: The Youngest Master
Staring: Jackie Chan
Rating: 3 Kung Fu Dojos
Review: This is aclaimed as one of Jackie Chan’s best movies of all time, and I can kind of see why. The amount of humour, skill and technique that went into making it was certainly a lot of effort, even for an 80’s movie. But I had a lot of problems with this film, despite the good show.
In short, it is about the jopurney of a young Kung Fu warrior seeking his brother to return him to their clan. It follows a disgrace of events that caused one brother to leave. What basically becomes a comedy of errors is the usual story that persistance can overcome even the most skilled of opponents. But I was disappointed with the character developemtn. Jackie Chan’s character goes from a slightly fool-hardy yet serious person to somewhat of an idiot. The character seemed to fall apart, the further along he went. By the end, he seemed somewhat of a clumsy idiot taking on the toughest fighter in all the land. -1 for poor character design.
I won’t deny that the fight scenes were really good. The use of the handfan, the bench and the dress were really interesting. While I am studying the handfan fighting style, I see what it is that I am probably going to be capable of in a couple of years time. On the provision that I am persistant. But the dress fighting style was very amusing, in that it was cleverly portrayed and used properly, not just as a prop that Jackie happened to pick up suddenly, like a lot of weapons in his movies.
At the end of the day, the plot of this movie wasn’t very fluent, nor were many of the connections to how people knew each other, nor how things came to be. Even with pausing the movie to read the subtitles, I still couldn’t make everything total up in my mind. While the blurb sounded interesting when I read it, I think the end result is that the movie is a lot of provado and slapsticks used to pull a plot together quickly. -1.

Title: American Ninja
Staring: Michael Dodikoff, Steve James, Judie Aronson
Rating: 3 Throwing Stars
Review: You know, it is amusing compairing movies of this era. When in America, a fatal sword slash couldn’t draw blood from a giant, but in Japan, a fatal sword slash could draw a river of blood from a moth. Go figure!
Now, I have done a lot of research on the true art of Ninjutsu, and I am still to find a movie that even comes close to the true definition. However, knowing no one is going to make it stand, we’ll overlook that.
Michael Dodikoff plays the American ninja, now American soldier with no memory of his past or how he became such a good fighter. He only has the physical memory. Enlisted to pay for crimes, Joe discovers his work in (supposed) Japan is a lot more than it is cracked up to be. He stumbles inadvertently onto a plot to smuggle weapons to a foreign embacy for their bid for “freedom”. But with every rank above his own in on the plot, he has only himself and a few friends to try and stop this transaction, which ios protected by the deadly nionja Black Star.
Joe is one of those silent types who is more for looks than for conversation, and of all the movie ninja I have seen, he at least has the disipline of one. Doesn’t talk back, takes his punishment and situations with dignity and honor. too bad they can’t make that in a modern movie. And on a personal note, a guy like Joe should walk around, wearing very little and doing as he is told.
I deducted a point because of the continuous need to slap the enemy ninja over the head. Sure, they can play the tricks of the ninja from above, but, like most people, they never look up themselves. One day, they will learn to do this simple movement. But since 30 odd years have passed, I’m not counting on it anytime soon.
Following that is another -1 in the constant need to slap the heroes over the head and ask them if they are blind. Continuously do they walk into the hands of the enemy when it is obviously a trap. I know heroes aren’t supposed to work it out until the end of the movie, but for God’s sake, blind Fred could have seen that coming.
I didn’t deduct points for the appearance of the American ninja’s master. he was working for the enemy until he reveals himself towards the end of the movie. A lot of people would say this sort of reunion is cliche, but it is only because it is parodyed more times than it actually appears in the movie. Nor did I deduct points for the breaking of the laws of physics to make the ninja tricks work. I know how a true ninja did them, and it wasn’t like that, but I don’t expect a movie director to go into these details.
Uf you want a proper account of how a ninja might work, have a read of Ian Fleming’s “You Only Live Twice,” as that has been what is probably the closest written portrayl. Or pick up a copy of “Ninjutsu, the Art of Invisibility”. These have been, so far, the best accounts of ninjutsu I have come across. All other suggestions welcome for review.

Title: Dragon Fist
Staring: Jackie Chan
Rating: 3.5 Kung Fu moves
Review: Picking up a pattrn? Well, if it is any consolation, it is a little bit of research for me as well. This movie, while made in the same time era, had a lot of better things. English dubbing for one thing. A more settled plot for another.
The story is about the honour of Kung Fu clans and living up to your title. While I aon’t totally understand where the title ‘Dragon Fist’ comes in, it may be something lost in translation. But the story was a lot more followable for the most part, but again you need a pen and pad to note the differences between the clans, who is who and so on, but I still had an easier time. Especially when one clan is being eliminated and there are less people to keep track of. And I also found this movie had a higher sense of honor in that the characters (for the most part) were respectful.
-.5 for gaps in the plot... again. there is just a few little things that needed to be added to make the plot run perfectly smoothly from start to finish. It is because I managed to pull all of it together before the end of the plot.
The major fight scene at the end was also a lot more endearing, and I enjoyed watching the fights and the skills used. Elbow Blades were the weapon of choice for this movie versus... wait for it... the walking crotch. A cute fight to be sure.
-.5 was taken away for two reasons in the fighting. The first is because Jackie Chan got stabbed and sliced a number of times. The blood moved too quickly and so did Jackie. The other reason is because against the major opponent, Jackie dropped what had to be the most painful moves, including body slams, genital slams and a lot of head shots, and the bad guy just shook it off and kept going. Na-uh! No! Sorry! no man takes three full force shots from the elbow to the genitals without flinching or needing to nurse them with their hands. Just no!
Finally, a last .5 was taken off because there wasn’t a lot of weapons fighting. This is probably one of the few movies that are basically physical body fighting with not a lot else. The signature of Jackie Chan is to use either common or off-set props to fight, and the end result is a spectacular show. Maybe I am being pushy, but a little bit more weapon play on either Jackie’s front (or anyone’s for that matter) would have been great. No matter, I still enjoied this movie and its fighting styles. Makes you wonder how long it took to film, but the fight scenes are at least a little more realistic.

Title: Minotaur
Staring: Tom Hardy, Tony Todd, Rutger Hauer, Ingrid Pitt
Rating: 1 Mythical Beast
Review: I give up! This is clearly a poor attempt to turn the God of War game series into a film with abour as much success as a snowball rolling across the Sahara Desert. The scenery, the dress sense, the body art and the story line. Even the narrator sounded like the voice actor for Gaia. But then again, maybe I’m just paranoid.
After getting about one hour into the movie, I discovered that all I was in for was a lot of sexual talk and lusting after vagaina. So I decided to switch the movie off and go back to what I was watching originally.
In short, the movie is about an ancient tribe that takes kids off to be sacrificed to the Minotaur for the death of a Prince. This, annoyingly, was not too well explained in the plot. In the previous tri-year a girl was sent, but apparently not sacrificed, and Theo needs to go in and find her while the other seven victims are sacrificed. Horror didn’t really cover the film. B-grade trihardness is where the film belongs.
I decided that I’d just wipe out the points and start climbing. .5 for the cool costumes of the royals/cult leaders/whatever, and .5 for at least trying to be original. I think this film really shouldn’t even be on the shelves, and next time they could at least use the original God of War plot, or something close to it, and do a good job of it.

Overall Top 10
1) Silent Hill (4.5) (Purchase)
2) The Color Purple (4.5) (Own)
3) The Frightners (4) (Purchase)
4) Shortbus (4) (Purchase)
5) The Addams Family (4) (Own)
6) Mrs.Doubtfire (4) (Purchase)
7) House (4) (Maybe Purchase)
8) Sleepwalkers (4) (Maybe Purchase)
9) Indiana Jones and the Last Criusade (4) (Maybe Purchase)
10) Indiana Jones and Raiders of the Lost Ark (4) (Not Purchase)